There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
