We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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