If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize