Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
