it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
