Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
