apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
