I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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