I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
