I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
