dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
