***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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