When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize