no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
