you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
