I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
