also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
