He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
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he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
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also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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