found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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