So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Barsexuality is the new black.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
