i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
