my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Operation Purity has been aborted
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
