also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
