You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
