he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Is it because I queefed?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
