just come out here and I will go home with you...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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