I love black thongs
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
