I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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