I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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