i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
