I just made out with a guy for $7.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
