Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
