These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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