I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
