So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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