I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
