I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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