Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
