I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
