apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
