My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
