i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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