Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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