i can't believe i had my finger in that
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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