party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
