two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
COCAINE IS GR8
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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