He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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