My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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