90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
