i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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