I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
