do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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