its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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