I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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