when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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