More tranny stories later!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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