He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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