I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
