I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Less talking, more tequila
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
